Divorced Womens Daily is an up lifting and Blessing Site.

There is nothing harder in this world to have to say I have failed at being married, and if you have children it is even harder to deal with.  The not knowing if your decision is the right one, will my children be ok if I go through this, will my family understand and the biggest one how will I make it alone.  Because you have been with someone for so long and in some cases dependent on everything in your life with that one person.   And in my case I stayed  much longer than I would have had it not been for the children, just being worried that they would not have everything they needed.  I was his personal slave I cleaned I cooked and even brought his food right to his chair and did whatever he ask of me, wee had no friends except his family he did not want outsiders in our life.  So what friend I did have they were as I called it day friends I only spoke to them or saw them during his working hours.  My ex never wanted to do things with the kids except punish he was up on that, he really did not get involved in their personal life’s outside the house.  He would not even attend church activities if they were not at our church.  I guess girls , what I am saying is I stayed with someone who never showed me or my children love or affection for over 20 years and I did hurt my children by staying.  Don’t stay because of the children it is sometimes much wiser to leave because of the children, they may not have everything material wise but the love and warmth that will radiate through your home when you leave will be the Blessing.  And what I have learned in the healing is if you ask God what is his will your life will change for the better.  He has so much Joy for you out there and for your children just say thank you Jesus for your blessings.   I know first hand and I want to guide you through the  rough times and please send stories of what you are dealing with or have been through, and how your children have  handled  everything.  Marriage is a work in progress everyday we all realize this but we need a partner to be apart of this on going process and to work with us not  pulling away in another direction.  I bear my share of the  fault of  my marriage turning into a divorce and I could still be there in my nice home doing everything the same as before and still be married.  In my case it took the Lord trying to show me for  years I needed to leave as it was not a healthy home for anyone of us, not my ex or my children.  And I was just to secure in my space not matter how unhappy I may have been I just could not see myself leaving my home.  I did share some of my most inner thoughts with my best friend and a lot of what I said was just out of pain unhappiness and she knew that she never took a lot of what I said serious.  But the Lord was there and he always says we need to have humility to come full circle and to be humble.  Well I certainly did I could not find an out in my eyes my daughter left for college my son was still at home

and I just gave up took an overdose and died twice, they put a tube down my throat to breathe for me and when I woke up it was the worst feeling ever, I was alive and laying with a tube in my throat and i could not move it hurt so bad tears rolled down my face.  I don’t  wish this on anyone nor to I think it’s the right thing to do.  From this came a long an ugly divorce  something I really never had the nerve to take those steps to do, it took a near death situation  to give me the strength to leave.  I must say to all who have not left or just now going through your divorce no one told me that if you leave your home it is considered abandonment in the state of  Misssissippi.  And when your Lawyers office ask you to make a list of everything you want out of the house for the judge to make the decision, take time try to remember all that is in your home and never assume your ex will give you things not on the list.  I did not have good direction on this and was blind and lost a lot of my personal things that my ex after 6yrs still will not give to my children to give to me.  And I am talking about things like pictures of my children from birth up until I left my high school year books scrap books paints ,paintings letters from friends and family clearly things that mean nothing to him, just something to hold over me.  After a long divorce  I now had to go to the Lawyers office to have him hand me barely nothing in money from my ex the long divorce ate up most of what I and my children were to receive from our home.  So now I was starting all over in a knew town with one child in college one in High School with  a physical disability and feeling so alone a if you think I wasn’t  scared your crazy.  I am telling you it’s normal to be so afraid your not sure if you can make another step, but with the help of the Lord through his grace and  Blessings you find the end of that dark tunnel.  I will be here every day to encourage you to help you and to show you that with hard work and and prayer and to give Jesus all to him for your Blessings I am here as proof you can survive and make it for you and your  children.  Every time I am blessed I stop and say  Thank You Jesus!!!!!!  For if you ask I promise you will receive he blesses all.  So stop and think if you have stayed home and have not worked in years ask yourself what skills to I have , what talents trades can I do.  If you are a college grad and have a great paying job I still encourage you to as for blessings and to give Jesus all the the thanks.  And as I told you before I was not perfect I made mistakes in my marriage as well, the difference is I care about my children and still continue to help them my ex remarried right away and has totally distanced himself from the children.  He never calls them, he never helps them financially or does he care how they are doing.  Our son needed and still needs a father but he just does not seem to think it is his place.  I want to share my case is rare not all men are this way most will work hard at making a good relationship with their children after a divorce this is just a rare situation.  And I must make it clear he was not in their life much when they lived with him.  I just thought he would embrace them and want to have a close relationship with them.  It has made a deep impact on my kids his distance and lack of showing any kind of love or even kindness towards them.  It was me who divorced him not the children they did not deserve any of the pain that has fallen on them.  As I leave for today I encourage you to share your stories ask questions.  And remember I am here with you and remember to whom all blessings come, thank you Jesus.  Just stop and write down your talents,skills things you have within you that will now help you survive.